I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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