Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
