Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
