He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
