It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My dad is sitting where you rode me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
