I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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