We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
