Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
