I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
