I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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