i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
