Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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