I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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