remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
