Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
