I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
