Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
