So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
