how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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