Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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