4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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