My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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