It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
