I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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