Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Text me some of your sweat
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