About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
