This dress was meant to end up on your floor
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I need moral support for this bender
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
