go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
