Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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