ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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