i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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