That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
