i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
