the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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