You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
