So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
