He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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