I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
