Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
