omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
