Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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