you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
