i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
