no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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