Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
