I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I want her autograph on my taint
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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