last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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