I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
