Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Let's paint friendship bongs
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
is it fun? or sober?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
