just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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