yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
