so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
