Only a mothe r could love this liver
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
