If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
