i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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