yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
