i just google imaged poop.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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